The Effects of a Name

While reading the section in Gendered Lives called "Language Shapes Awareness of Gendered Issues" I couldn't help but think about something very personal to me.  More than one person I know has been raped, and they both called it "being taken advantage of."  In both cases they had to have been drugged or their drink was spiked with more alcohol than they had knowledge of, because both of them woke up not knowing what had happened  The last thing they remembered was when they had gone out the night before and having only one or two drinks.

The truth is, this IS being taken advantage of but it is much more than that.  It is a black and white case of rape.  However, for a victim of rape just saying that word can make them quiver and have an anxiety attack.  It may make them closer to recovery, but it makes them also face the fact that they were raped and there was nothing they could do about it anymore. 

The woman I know that was raped didn't realize what had happened at first, it took her a few days to put the few pieces of what she started to remember together and when she went to the hospital it was too late for a rape kit.  When she spoke with a detective he said he was willing to investigate the case and do what he could, but asked if she thought her case would stand up facing a jury made of both men and women of all ages.  Knowing that alcohol and/or some sort of date rape drug was involved, she had little memory of what had happened, and had waited too long to get a rape kit done she knew that it would have been a waste of her time, money, and extreme mental distress to pursue the case.  She new that in the end, it would have been her word against his.  So for a while she just said she was "taken advantage of," dropped out of school and tried to make a new kind of life, but eventually there was no way to get around it.  She had to go to counseling, become diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and come face to face with the word, "rape".

Names are powerful.  Names can hurt, even when they are needed for good.  The word "rape" has to exist to make people aware of the seriousness of what happens to victims, but sometimes that word is also extremely hard to face.