Sometimes it seems like if I don't follow what is expected of my gender, I miss out on things that other women find essential to the meaning of being a woman. For instance, I went out with a new friend and her roommate a couple of weeks ago and somehow we got on the subject of men buying drinks for women. I shared that I have never been bought a drink before and my husband claims it is because I don't give off a vibe that says, "If you buy me a drink, you might have a chance with me". (He said this before we were even engaged so I can't blame it on my rings and say the men just know I am not available). He says my strong and independent personality "oozes" out of me and that makes it hard to approach me because it seems like they will instantly strike out. This may be true, but I know many strong, independent women that get bought drinks all the time. So, back to square one.
When I tell people that I have never been bought a drink by a guy I get generally the same reaction. Usually some laughs (which makes me feel more pathetic) and then, "Are you serious? Why?". They tell me they don't believe it, that I have the looks and the personality so it doesn't make sense. I have had many friends tell me that they rarely buy drinks for themselves, they just flirt with guys and the drinks start flowing.
Is this really what is expected of my gender? Do I need strange men buying me drinks to be considered a real, sensual, desirable woman? I don't think so, I think it makes me more of a woman that I am not pretending to be interested in a guy to get free drinks. I can buy my own drinks, I don't need a man for that! However, a small part of me still feels like I am doing something wrong or there is something about me that makes me undesirable to the opposite sex. How unfair!
It looks like I am going to continue to be my strength and independence oozing self, drinks be damned!
